Me on the flight deck...

Have you ever woke up in a haze and rushed out the door only to arrive at work to realize that you’ve done something stupid? It has happened to me several times over the years! As the years roll on, those incidents become funnier and funnier to me. Of course, despite the past incidents I continue to do silly stuff. I am here to reveal a few of those incidents in the hope of brightening your day.

First of all, most of the incidents involve my attire. My days in the military were so much easier because I didn’t have to put much thought into what I had to wear. As you can see from my picture above, the uniform was pretty basic! To make things worse, I am color blind so it is tough for me to match trousers, shirts, and ties.

Recently, I was about five minutes away from my office and I felt a slight chill. I adjusted my car’s controls and then I scratched my chest. Just then, I realized I was not wearing a shirt. I had nice trousers, dress shoes, and even a belt but no shirt. Thirty minutes before, I walked the dog, drank a cup of coffee, warmed up the car, adjusted the music, and drove in traffic like every other commuter. Fortunately, I had a golf shirt in the trunk — a bit wrinkled but it was better than showing off the bear rug.

When my mother visited San Francisco, California, she bought me a t-shirt. It was a white t-shirt, with about twenty caricatures representing popular types of breasts in the area. It was pretty funny. However, one morning, in a rush I wore the t-shirt under a white dress shirt with a tie. I was in the office for about an hour or so until my friend informed me that he could clearly see “Silicon Valley” and “Fisherman’s Wharf” boobs through my shirt.

Never bet a sailor he won't do something after a few beers...

Many years earlier, I remember several of my shipmates and I having a “little” pre-deployment party which started in the afternoon and ended late in the evening. The next morning aboard ship, I was shaving in front of the mirror trying to remember the details of yesterday. I heard snickers, laughs, and one “Hey… what’cha you got goin’ on there superstar?” When I stood straight up and looked in the mirror, I saw what they were laughing about. To see what I saw, look at the picture to the left — it was taken the day before.